Wind Beneath My Wings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-T1h7J0R-Q     "Wind Beneath My Wings"

Many years ago my daughter said, "this song always reminds me of you." I felt all choked up because it was such a precious thing to hear.
Yesterday, after working on my blog, I was enjoying some 'alone time', which I don't seem to have much of any longer....well, never did, actually-with rasing two children, working full time at the hospital, missions work, church, and spending time with my grandsons, when they came along- but for me 'alone time' has always been time for reflection on memories.
Sweet memories, heart-breaking memories, memories of places visited, people met and long gone, or becoming part of a 'misty, water-colored memory' of the way things used to be.
Little children, smiling faces, chocolate pudding covered hair with pudgy fingers smearing the high chair as if painting for mommy.
Daughter and son sitting near the fireplace as we played "Hide the Dealy" on a cold winter's night in Sheridan, Wyoming (Big Horn-to be precise), a game made up by their dad in which we all enjoyed immensely.
Flash-backs of little children opening presents on Christmas morning and "wow! Thanks mom and dad, it's just what I wanted!!" As they tore open gift after gift of Barbie and Ken, Barbie's house and Corvette, and Star Wars creatures, snow machines, and Chubaka the Wookie and the famous millenium falcon, to mention a few of the menagerie of Star Wars people and space vehicles.
I cried a bucketful of tears as I stood at my daughter's wedding in the lovely gazebo at the Battery Park in Charleston, South Carolina, when my precious first grandson was born a couple years later, and then two more years later- along came our twin grandsons, and oh, what a night we enjoyed then also.
I looked at some old photographs of my daughter standing beside me with her hair filled with hair barrettes-she got a new package and wanted to wear them ALL at once, her little hands on her hips, standing next to her mommy, who was pregnant with her new brother, soon to arrive on the scene.
I remember how his tiny lips trembled when he heard the song called "Michael Row the boat Ashore", and how we all marveled at his long skinny feet- "he's going to be tall," we all agreed (and he is!)
I thought about our first grandson, oh how very handsome and smart he is- wearing his adorable little Gymboree outfits with the colorful socks to match, his pretending to fish with grandpa with his tiny little fishing pole and learning to cast a net, and oh, the tall tales he could tell!
I thought about one of our twins and the day we were Prayer-Walking in Cocoa Village, in Brevard County, Florida, and he saw a homeless man on a park bench, he wanted to get an ice cream and asked me to buy one for the man on the bench, and so we did and he said to the man, "Jesus loves you." That simple. That child-like love and faith was pricelsess to me.
Later when his older brother and I talked about that day, I'll never forget what he said to me, "Grandma, I wish I could be like that-just go up to someone and tell them about Jesus, you know. " I replied to him, "we all have our own way of showing Jesus' love, some can speak it, others just live it, and that speaks it, too."
Fast forward many years to leaving for the mission field, my oldest grandson wrapped his precious arms around me and wouldn't let go, and I stood there in line at security, with my heart torn into a million shreds. We stood in a family 'huddle' before that and people all around us watched as we cried and cried and tried to leave, yet we couldn't tear ouselves away until the very last possible second.
Then on their first visit to us, the video of my mind plays over and over as I see them arriving at the airport, my oldest running as fast as he could, dragging his own little suitcase behind, as he literally runs into my waiting arms.....making sure he got there first, then along comes the younger twins, hugging, hugging, hugging....laughing and crying all at once-then my precious daughter arrives with my son-in-law....what a joyful day that was!!
Again-fast forward to our son leaving for the mission field, our daughter left all alone-her husband in Iraq, her parents in a foreign country and now her only brother also gone to a foreign country-she's alone with our three little grandsons......alone and feeling abandoned.....yet she knows it is for the love of God that this has come about-how can one fight against that?
How can one even complain.....when God is at the source? What can you do but try to lean on Him for all your support? Who is there to help with the little ones? Who can help them see they are so greatly loved and explain to them WHY they were left behind to live a life without their Dad, Uncle, and grandparents?
I can see those oh-so-handsome, smiling and tearful faces....always before me. BUT-
now although their uncle is still far away and may be for only God knows how long-their dad is home, and their grandparents are home.....but something seems to be lost now.
Years have gone by. Time that can't be retrieved. Growing years that had no one close at hand to share the changes.....no grandpa to go fishing with......no grandma to teach how to do things.......Mom stressed out for the never-ending work, never available husband, never available mom and dad.....brother having lost all closeness-few letters, and little contact, visits once a year, and time-precious years going by ever-so-quickly.......changes, loneliness, memories, yet Jesus told us that if we leave all for His sake He will recompense 100 fold "in this life"
LORD, if I have nothing else in this life-You have given me a million wonderful, sweet, bittersweet, and precious memories.....all I really want is my family to serve You with joy and gladness.
If I could have any one prayer answered in my life it would be that YOU are first, always, in the lives of my most valuable gift on earth-my beloved children and grandchildren.
This is my prayer!
Memories of the love we have for You and one another.....that as long as I live-they will continue to be as precious and sweet as ever.
Thank You, Father, for the memories of days gone by and days yet to come......however long or short they may be!
LSCW